Hi. I’m not really sure I could be in a worse mood this week so you’re going to get shitty boobs and you’ll thank me for it. If you’d like to complain, please send hatemail to numberoffucksgiven@gmail.com. Otherwise, just pretend you know the answer. It’s zero. Zero is (are?) the number of fucks given.
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I wrote this song for Dave way back in 2008. He needed yet another song about sex, and because I’m a total perv he called me. ‘MJ,’ said Dave, ‘do you think you could rustle up something supremely dirty for me? If you’re busy I’ll call Cyn. That chick is a freak.’
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Today’s model is none other than THE super famous butter churning ho from the 90s. These pictures are 100% real and have been validated by the H2s legal team. The team consists of Steve after visiting the dispensary, but he’s totally sure they’re real, and he’s staked his medical card on it. Please welcome the belly jelly master of disaster, Monica—blows like a harmonica—Lewinsky.
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Some shit happened, but none of it was funny. In order to make famine, war, death, and genocide appear less serious, I’ll attempt to link gifs or jpegs that are only tangentially related to the actual event. Hopefully we’ll all have a chuckle at the contradictory emotion of it all.
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44 BC – Julius Caesar, Dictator of the Roman Republic, is stabbed to death–The Ides of March, bitches.
1564 – Mughal Emperor Akbar abolishes jizya (per capita tax)
1906 – Rolls-Royce Limited is incorporated.
1922 – After Egypt gains nominal independence from the United Kingdom, Fuad I becomes King of Egypt.
1978 – Somalia and Ethiopia signed a truce to end the Ethiopian-Somali War.
1985 – The first Internet domain name is registered (symbolics.com).
1990 – Mikhail Gorbachev is elected as the first President of the Soviet Union.
2011 – Beginning of the Syrian civil war.
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Drink of the week
Filed under: Boobs
