Hi, and welcome to another boring edition of Big Boob Friday. Kick off your boots, pour a drink, and strap in for boobapalooza, brought to you through the wonders of the boobernet.

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I wrote this song last week for a band named GWAR. You’ve heard of them I’m sure, but probably not this song. It’s a bit more melodic than their usual fair, but I convinced them to put it on their album ‘This Toilet Earth.’ What a great group of guys.

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This weeks model is twenty something and comes from the Check Republic (FU SPELLING!!). She has pretty big boobs, likes to get naked, and is paid handsomely for it. I sorta forget her name, so we’re just going to call her Edith Bunker. So please give a nice H2 welcum to the young, lovely, and busty, Edith Bunker!!!!!!!

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Was there anything interesting that happened today? I bet there was! I know, back to the boobernet to find something to post!!!!!

…It turns out that July whatever day it is, was pretty boring. So in place of the usual clap trap that makes it into the weekly titty-wank post Im’ just going to link stupid shit. Same difference? You decide.

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Where has Mare been?

Scottw gassing up the banglar pedo-van.

A dramatic re-enactment of the weekend MCPO spent in the brig.

Bad Pupster! Or is that good… Pupster screwing around on the intertitwebjenkins.

Leon’s kind of a dick.

Car in attends the weekend sport for individuals that enjoy the sexual companionship of those with the same XX or XY chromosomes.

Just an average Saturday morning/Friday night for lauraw.

Does Sam’s carry a hot sauce fountain for corn dogs yet, Oso???

Watch out Beasnsnsnsnsns.

Tushar teaches his anchor babies about the IRS.

Hi Cyn.

Just enjoy the game, xBrad. Perv-o.

Pepe is making drinks this weekend.

Hotspur has absolutely no respect for the author-a-tay.

Silly Romy-frito-pie. Why you so silly???

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That last picture is really wholesome, so all you prude sons of bitches can blow me. And if you’re somehow upset that the 45 90 minutes I spent pasting this POS post together at the last minute didn’t yield a link for you above, you can blow me too. Why don’t you all just blow me, mkay? Mkay. Other than that, have a great weekend!!!!!

Have you ever noticed that the “FA” in FAQs is almost always fraudulent? The questions are not necessarily “frequently asked,” they are just those which the vendor thinks you should be asking, and wants you to know the answer, whether you thought of them or not.

In that spirit of disingenuity, I offer the following FAQs regarding the Columbus Day Texas Moron Meet-Up And Five Million Hits Celebration™, hereinafter referred to as the CDTMM&FMHC.

Q: What is the event?

A: The CDTMM&FMHC. Please try to pay attention.

Q: Who came up with this idea and is the person in charge of this event?

A: Geoff.

Q: When is it going to happen?

A: The weekend of Columbus Day, October 11-14.

Q: Where will it be?

A: It will be based at my house in the mid-cities area of the Dallas Metroplex, just a short cab ride from DFW, four doors west and across the street from Tony Romo’s house.

CDTMM Party Headquarters

Q: What is the purpose of this event?

A1: To celebrate the avarice, courage and adventurous spirit of Christopher Columbus, a man who apparently did not know you are supposed to get a decent haircut before you sit for a portrait.

Are there women on this continent?

A2: To commemorate the likely achievement of five million hits from all over the world by Innocent Bystanders, an astonishing occurrence given that this site was initially just a joke by Retired Geezer. See sidebar to check our progress towards 5M.

A3: To enjoy good times and fellowship with the online friends we have grown to cherish over the years.

Q: Who has committed to attend already?

A: Geoff.

Q: Just Geoff?!?

A: DaveinTexas and Cathy have also said they will attend.

Q: What about you?

A: I have to be there. It’s at my house.

Q: What is going to happen?

A: It’s not really fixed yet, but traditionally these things work like this:

Friday Evening Premeetup: This is especially for folks arriving from out of town on Friday. Likely venue is the Spirit Grille, the dive bar closest to my house.

Daytime Saturday: Likely events include mid-morning brunch at my house, the discharge of firearms at the nearby Elm Fork outdoor range, possible visit to the historic district of Grapevine for some old-timey Texas atmosphere.

Saturday Night: Party involving the burning of meat, the consumption of adult beverages, and Dave falling in the pool.

Meat burning device in use at prior moron meetup.

Sunday: Sobering up, breakfast meetings and departures.

If you have Columbus Day off (Monday), you might want to make this a long weekend and enjoy some of the many attractions in this area, e.g., the Dallas Museum of Art, the Fort Worth Historic District, the Kennedy stuff and West End in the city, etc. The State Fair of Texas will also be running here at that time, a huge fair with many acts and attractions.

Q: What about accommodations?

A: Many choices nearby in the Las Colinas area to fit any budget. There is a La Quinta very close to my house which is moderately priced and, according to Geoff and others who have stayed there, is OK. You can call the La Quinta at 972-261-4900.

Hope you can make it! Let us know in the comments if you have any suggestions or questions.

Hi there. MJ, or Mari Juana in some circles, had some sort of business trip *coughBallIroningcough* and axed me to pinch hit. No screwing around – let’s rock:

This chickie has been here before, yeah, yeah, I know, “another repeat?” you say to yourself, but wait a sec: that last time we saw her, whoknowwho found the WORST pics of her ever. I went and scrubbed the tittywebs to find the best pictures of her, because I’m nice that way. She’s from Australia, and can speed read at 42-28-36 Double G All Natural words per minute. She was named last year as a ‘Best of the Decade’ by Score. Get your fleshlights ready and then give a BBF howdy to Angie White.

I hate quizzes so enjoy what the astrological gurus have begat each of us for today, July 26, 2013.

And just for something a bit extra different, I’ve made the rest of the Angie scenery as Links–let’s see if you can find them all.

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This isn’t Moses.  But this is how he feels.

The purple sage asploded this weekend.

Hello, and welcome to Big Boob Friday, bewb perusers.

I know you all love music, but I’m on a bit of a youtube boycott.  I’ll not embed, but click here for a musical selection that will open in another window.

Your model for today was born on April 14, 1975 in Ceske Budejovice, Czechoslovakia.  She supposedly is only 5’5″ tall with enhanced (fake) bewbs, so the scale might be a little off in these pictures.  Please stop scratching your weeping pustules long enough to say hello to Veronika Zemanova.

Rather than do some lame history lesson, I thought I’d use my big dog brain to predict some future scenes from the upcoming Columbus Day Gathering.

Xbrad watches but doesn’t dance

Jewstin remembers too late that Michael was a Boy Scout, and is always prepared.

Lauraw fixes her signature dish, smoked seafood

Pupster meets Sox, fails to engage

Cyn does not approve of the liquor selection

We find out why Geoff is not a hugger

Hotspur demostrates amazing wife control

Vmax is unclear on the touch football concept

Tushar attempts a beer run, forgets the rose goes in front

Dave launches an equally successful operation

Jay runs the grill, subsequently run out of town

Mare stops by to talk politics

Michael’s new girlfriend seems nice

Oso finds the lawn furniture not to her liking

Gland disagrees with the Spirit Grill’s cut off policies (this may be my new favorite gif evah)

Drink of the week:  Bourbon.  

Also, http://is.gd/l8TmF9

It’s Friday and that means boooobeeeees! And who gives you teh best boobs? *does that double thumb pointy thing at chest and winks*

Came across this tune not too long ago and it’s become a staple in my car. And you know it has to be good if Googleman has now gotten turned onto the band. Check out their shit and this tune.

I seem to have a knack for bringing chicks who’ve never graced the BBF pages before, and I’ve done it yet again. This 5’7″ hottie was born May 20, 1987 in the Ukraine and moved to the US when she was 17. Coming from a family of lawyers and teachers, she’s actually smrt too, speaking three languages and understanding two others. Please help me welcome someone whose assets are aaaaall hers and with an Illinois driver’s license that reads 36DD-29-37, Miss Sasha Bonilova!!

History is for fags. Besides, you people don’t even read that shit anyways. Birthdays are what’s on the menu for this day of August 9.

• Jean Piaget, 117
• Our very own Mare, 29
• Comedian-director David Steinberg, 71
• Actor Sam Elliott, 69
• Singer Barbara Mason, 66
• Actress Melanie Griffith, 56
• Actress Amanda Bearse (“Married … With Children”), 55
• Rapper Kurtis Blow, 54
• “Today” co-host Hoda Kotb, 49
• Actor Pat Petersen (“Knots Landing”), 47
• Actress Gillian Anderson, 45
• Actor Thomas Lennon (“Reno 911!”), 43

Bonus Not-Safe-For-Work-in-any-way-shape-or-form-video-of-Sasha

Hello, and welcome to Big Boob Friday, where we celebrate our second favorite anatomic feature.  First place is dependent upon personal preference.

Your musical selection for the day will open in another window and play after some fucking youtube commercials, here.

Your model for today was born on November 14th, 1990 in Rio Verde, Goias, Brazil.  She is 5′ 10″ tall, weighs in at 128 lbs, and hits the tape at 35-25-41 with double banging 34 D batteries.  Please form an orderly line give a big round of applause to Anielly Campos!

On this day in history, shit happened.

Drink of the week is OMG Corona that somebody else ran and fetched for you.

Now get out there and take care of business.

I haven’t posted in quite some time so I thought I would really go big on this one. Your Welcome (HS).

Greetings, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.  I am your host for today, as is my wont.

Your musical selection for the day as per usual will open in another window, here.

Bonus gif…get a haircut Hank!

Your model for the day was born in Ashland, Kentucky on August 31st, 1991.  This of course puts her over the legal limit to grace these hollowed pages, but may raise the ire of a few of our more delicately constructed Hostages.  Fear not, I have it on good authority that she is a good person, has a heart of gold, and all the proceeds from her tasteful naked pictures are donated to worthy causes.

She stands 5’4″ at 110 lbs, and measures in at 34DD-24-35.  Please stop recording your promos and liners to give a warm welcome to Leanna Decker!

Drink of the week, diet cherry cola.

Good morning! The old poat was fantastic but full of the inane ramblings of crazy people, so I thought I’d get the weekend kicked off with some fresh content.

Saturday mornings are spent doing chores and bonding with offspring in the Pupster Household. We start with a trust exercise and life lesson rolled into one.

Today we will most likely wash cars and do yard work. What is on your agenda today?

Hello, and welcome to Big Boob Friday. I am your host, a simple dog of leisure with a nose for gifs.

I had a different model picked out for today, but a little googling revealed that some short jackass from Florida had already featured her in 2011.  So, I’m still sprinkling in some of her gifs because that’s how I roll.

Your musical selection of the day is a country song, which I find soothing.

The model for today was born on October 6th, 1991 in Jelgava, Latvia.  She towers over Leon at 5’6″ and measures out at 32F-24-37.  She doesn’t have any gifs, but please don’t hold that against her.  Stop nibbling o-rings and welcome Sabine Jemeljanova!

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m17l52xMYL1qion87o1_500.gif

The Drink of the Week is bourbon, shaken.

Road trip for the extended Pupster Family today, going to Kentucky for my niece’s wedding.

Just waiting on the rest of the family to get ready before we hit the road.

I’m pretty serial about making this Trivial Pursuit: Hostages Edition Game, but it wouldn’t be fun without you peeps’ help. Several of us got on a tear the other night coming up with questions and it was a fun flashback. My evil master plan is to have a game night when I have a meat-up here come Spring.

If you’ve never played Trivial Pursuit, there are six categories, such as Geography, History, Arts & Entertainment. Oh and I love the idea of coming up with new categories!

Now here’s where you really come in: suggest a question that is unique to our little sandbox to go with any of the six categories. ICYMI the other night / just to get the ball rolling, here were just some of the questions that got put out there:

• When is Michael’s birfday?
• Name the recipient and the creators of the “Reg, Fake”.
• Name all the Hostage babies.
• H2 felons. Fact or fiction?
• Science and Technology:  “from what does a hostage snort coke?”

So it’s your turn to come up with H2-related questions! HEY READ THIS: Please, please No Answers In the Thread.  Just The Questions.

If you have an extra reeeeeally good question, maybe so good that you want to see it on a card and not in the thread, or it’s Grand Poobah Master Level Hard as Hell, send it AND the answer to me using this nifty little form submission thingy (BTW: you can enter as many of these as you’d like):

I’ll pick through this thread when it’s done and pull out all the great stuff you guys have come up with.

Ready, set, go!

Hello, partakers of Friday and Big Boobs. You know what’s better than two-mints-in-one? Me either, but a reasonable facsimile is BBF – yay!

I had to do some homework, research really, because it’s important that all this stuff meshes together. And really quite frankly, I can type anything in here that I want knowing that you’ll never really read it. Except maybe hotspur; that fucker is always looking to bust on typos and grammer and wahtnot.

A little music to set the mood for today’s beauty, you go click and enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Var4AQWRL2o

Her bra size is said to be 102ZZZ, and each of her breasts weigh around 56 pounds. Her stage name is a word-play on the phrase “enormous tits”. Please give a one-handed welcome to our Big Brown Beefy Big Boob Friday model, Annie Hawkins-Turner, better known by the pseudonym Norma Stitz!

Hands on your pencils, people, it’s time for some learnin’:

• 1620 – The Pilgrims left on the Mayflower from Plymouth, England to settle in the New World.
• 1837 – The Oberlin Collegiate Institute of Ohio went co-educational.
• 1876 – The Southern Pacific rail line from Los Angeles to San Francisco was completed.
• 1899 – Carnation processed its first can of evaporated milk.
• 1909 – Robert Peary, American explorer, sent word that he had reached the North Pole. He had reached his goal five months earlier.
• 1943 – The youngest player to appear in an American League baseball game was pitcher Carl Scheib of the Philadelphia Athletics. Scheib was 16 years, eight months and five days old.
• 1944 – During World War II, the British government relaxed blackout restrictions and suspended compulsory training for the Home Guard.
• 1948 – Queen Juliana of the Netherlands was crowned.
• 1952 – In Montreal, Canadian television began broadcasting.
• 1959 – The first Barbie Doll was sold by Mattel Toy Corporation.
• 1975 – Martina Navratilova requested political asylum while in New York for the U.S. Open Tennis Tournament.
• 1978 – James Wickwire and Louis Reichardt reached the top of the world’s second largest mountain, Pakistan’s K-2. They were the first Americans to reach the summit.
• 1991 – The State Council of the Soviet Union recognized the independence of the Baltic states.
• 1995 - U.S. Senator Bob Packwood was expelled by the Senate Ethics Committee.
• 1996 – Eddie Murray (Baltimore Orioles) hit his 500th career home run during a game against the Detroit Tigers. He was only the third person to have at least 3,000 hits and 500 home runs.
• 2000 – The U.N. Millennium Summit began in New York. It was the largest gathering of world leaders in history with more than 150 present.
• 2002 – At the Smithsonian American Art Museum, the exhibition “George Catlin and His Indian Gallery” went on view. The exhibit contained over 400 objects.

Please put that soiled sock in the hamper when you’re done.

Happy Friday.

Hello, and welcome to another edition of the best f**king post of the week. This is it. This is Big Boob Friday™. It’s a dream wrapped in a wish, tied together with a ribbon of adolescent male fantasy.  Hells to the yes. Bring on the tatas!

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I wrote this song for a little known Canadian band, Metric (Quick!! Everyone pretend like you don’t give a shit!!!).  I was hanging out with Emily Haines and decided that what she really needed was a catchy song that no one would listen to. I’ve found the best music is born of this effort: to please, but not to really give a shit. Practiced indifference, kind of like what the guy who cuts my hair calls my beard…’designer stubble.’

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This week’s model Megumi Yamano was born in Kansas City in 1979. She attended the University of Kansas and was the starting forward for the Jayhawks for the 2000-2001 season. Her interests include horseback riding, ropin’, and rustlin’ things. She got a perfect score on her SAT, which you all assume anyway because you are racist cracker ass crackers.  That reminds me, do Japanese dudes jerk off using chopsticks? Now you’re picturing it. Hahaha. Nice work, MJ. So here we are, you haven’t read this, and it’s time to look at BOOBS!

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You know what they say…once you go asian, you’re pretty much set through college cuz you can just steal her term papers and copy them. So we’re going Asian, baby. Sushi on a grand scale.

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585 BC – Lucius Tarquinius Priscus, king of Rome, celebrates a triumph for his victories over the Sabines.

1501 – Michelangelo begins work on his statue of David.

1791 – King Louis XVI of France accepts the new constitution.

1808 – Finnish War: In the Battle of Jutas, Swedish forces under Lieutenant General Georg Carl von Döbeln beat the Russians, making von Döbeln a Swedish war hero.

1848 – Vermont railroad worker Phineas Gage survives a 3-foot (0.91 m)-plus iron rod being driven through his head; the reported effects on his behavior and personality stimulate thinking about the nature of the brain and its functions.

1898 – Hannibal Goodwin patents celluloid photographic film.

1906 – First flight of a fixed-wing aircraft in Europe.

1956 – The IBM 305 RAMAC is introduced, the first commercial computer to use disk storage. BOOM!

1994 – Ulysses probe passes the Sun’s south pole.

2008 – Hurricane Ike makes landfall on the Texas Gulf Coast of the United States

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Things have sucked harder than the PR firm that decided ass fingering a teddy bear was a good idea for Miley Cyrus.  Thanks for being really good sports and putting up with my incessant bitching. You’re still a bunch of bugfuckery morons, but thanks.

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Herro, and welcum to another addition of the smartester post of the weak. It’s MF friday ya’ll, and that means bad music, stoopid gifs, and big heavy hanging bags of fun.

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I didn’t right this song for Tool, but they’re a favourite of today’s model. And no, it’s not Car in. She would never pose for a portrait with a purple dildo or anything so demeaning as that.

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Nikki Simms, or as most of you smut mongers probably know her, Next Door Nikki, was one of the first girls smart enough to be used by an older man to start an amateur style, pay by the month website. The interesting thing about her site is that she never actually gets nekkid, kind of. Extensive research of Tittyweb Jenkins has informed me that the 29 year old took off her top on Jerry Springer, but that’s about it. The closest you’re going to get to seeing her splendid, DD sweater puppies includes at the minimum, a mesh shirt. Eh, whatevs. Please put down the Jergens and give a round of applause to internet smut pioneer——Nikki Simms!!!!!!!! Eleventy.

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It’s time to get schooled, bishes:

• 1519 – Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan left Spain to find a route to the Spice Islands of Indonesia.
• 1870 – The Papal States came under the control of Italian troops, leading to the unification of Italy.
• 1884 – The Equal Rights Party was formed in San Francisco, CA.
• 1946 – WNBT-TV in New York became the first station to promote a motion picture; scenes from “The Jolson Story” were shown.
• 1953 – Jimmy Stewart debuted on the radio western “The Six Shooter” on NBC.
• 1955 – “You’ll Never Be Rich” premiered on CBS-TV. The name was changed less than two months later to “The Phil Silvers Show.”
• 1963 - U.S. President John F. Kennedy proposed a joint U.S.-Soviet expedition to the moon in a speech to the U.N. General Assembly.
• 1977 – The first of the “boat people” arrived in San Francisco from Southeast Asia under a new U.S. resettlement program.
• 1991 – U.N. weapons inspectors left for Iraq in a renewed search for Iraqi weapons of mass destruction.
• 1995 – The U.S. House of Representatives voted to drop the national speed limit.

Okay, you passed the test, so you get moar Nik-kay tit-tays.

Big weekend planned for me; howse about you?

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Hello extremists, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.  After an exhaustive and violent selection process…I have emerged victorious as your host for today’s post of greatness.

You musical selection for today jives with today’s model selection, mostly just because some think a subtle theme is necessary to justify their genius.

Despite Leon’s encouragement, I’ve not made much progress on my diet this week, but I think I’m going to mix in some light cardio and see how it goes.

Your model for today was born in Moscow on March 1st, 1980.  She is a former ice dancer and figure skater, now an actress, singer, and TV personality.  She stands 5’10″, weighs 123 lbs, and measures 38-24-36.

Please stop obstructing progressivism long enough to welcome Anna Semenovich!

The drink of the week is vodka.

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